I’ve lived life in a blur ever since I was 10. I don’t even have a memory of waking up and seeing the world clearly without glasses sitting heavily on my face. Streetlights turn into halos, words scatter like ants on papers if I move too far and I only recognize faces when they are close enough to breathe the same air.
Good vision, I imagine, is not only the gift of sight. It is the gift of foresight, the ability to see where your path takes you and to trust that it’ll lead to something meaningful. It is the gift of insight, the kind that lets you dive deeper beyond the surface of things and recognize their hidden beauty. It is the gift of oversight, the one that guides your gaze above the ground and gives you a glimpse of the entire earth.
Perhaps that’s why my blurred vision has made me an imaginary person. Since I can’t rely on my sight, I started “seeing” with the other senses; I feel the weight of words, hear the love between conversations and picture the beauty that my eyes cannot capture. My clarity is not always granted by my eyes, but sometimes by my heart that interprets what my eyes cannot grasp.
And still, I crave visual clarity. I used to think good vision was about having the perfect sight so see everything. But now, as I turn 21, I realize good vision is about perspective. Good vision is hope; the hope that maybe one day I will see the life I have witnessed with my other senses so deeply without my glasses being in between. It is resilience, the courage to continue my path even if the future seems unclear. It is love, to recognize someone fully, wholeheartedly and endlessly without having to squint or guess. Maybe I’ll forever live life with a blurred filter, but I will always embrace change, trust in my belief and keep pushing forward even through uncertainty.
Shirley Zhang
Conscience Editor
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