I strongly believe people do not hate hard enough. Therefore, I have been inspired by the fake Ye tweet of his betrayal list and made one of my own.
THE BETRAYAL
- Kathleen’s Love for Drinking
She is always down to drink and I cannot keep up. Please save me. I get drunk on one glass of wine, and I cannot do shot for shot with her. I love her, but she pours me another shot of Titos right after finishing one and claims it is for later. Unfortunately, her definition of later is only two minutes. As I begin fighting for my life to lock in, I see her pour another shot. Kathleen looks at me with a straight face and says “I don’t feel anything” or “I’m at a 3 right now.” She also won’t drink wine with me, so I’m sad :((((( Lesson learned, do not drink Titos or soju with her unless you want to black out.
- The 208 Laundry Machines.
One cold winter night in the beginning of spring semester, I checked on my laundry that had been drying for about an hour and a half. I open the dryer to find humid, damp clothes. I thought maybe the load was too big and decided to dry them for another cycle. After another hour of drying, I go to collect my laundry only to find my clothes are still damp. At this point, it was already midnight. I had also put my bath towel in the laundry. I felt sweaty and disgusting after a long day and was not going to sleep until I showered (not that I could because my bed sheets were also being washed). I reluctantly decided to use a cold, wet towel to dry myself after the shower. It was horrible. Eventually, laundry was done around 3 a.m. For the remainder of the semester, I had to dedicate an entire day to do a normal sized load of laundry. About a month after our dryer began to betray us, our washer decided to stop draining. My clothes were soaked in water and extremely heavy to pick up. I had to put the machine in drain and spin in order to properly wring out all the water. In April, someone finally came to fix our laundry machines. For the next few months, both machines began working as they should. However, tragedy struck again. Once again, the washer refuses to drain, even on max spin, and the dryer takes five hours to dry a simple load. I absolutely despise the laundry machines.
- The Luteal Phase
I enter my The Tortured Poets Department era. It’s not fun. I highly do not recommend.
- Mercedes Benz GLE 350
The car just goes zooming randomly when I press the gas pedal ever so slightly. Also, when I use the brake pedal, I feel myself lunge forward even though I press it softly and I’m moving five mph. I believe it can’t be a skill issue because it isn’t as bad when I drive my sister’s Honda. There are way better cars than the Mercedes Benz GLE 350. In addition, if the car ever breaks down, it’s going to take half a year for a car shop to fix it because they need to ship the parts from Germany. Don’t be fancy and just get a Toyota or something.
- Christian Louboutin’s Red Sole
What do you mean only the Miss Z and some flats have the everlasting red sole? What if I want a pair of So Kate with it? I don’t care that Christian Louboutin wanted people to paint the town red with them. They clearly are able to make new shoes with the everlasting red sole, so why haven’t they added them to the So Kates? Cesare Paciotti is better anyways.
Anyways that’s it for my betrayal list. I would add more, but it’s getting too long :p
Doris Tung
Layout Editor
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